May 132013

Listen, just because I’m rockin’ my 30s, does not mean I can’t be served a good education once in a while.  My recent tag-along to my husband’s business trip to Boston was slammed full of great lessons.  In fact, I can’t think of a recent time when I learned so very much.  Since I love learning and am just chock full of extra energy for new experiences, this has to be a good thing.

What did this Mom of the Year learn on her educational foray?

1. When husband implies that The Freedom Trail is “only 2.5 miles” he really means “it will take us 3 miles to walk to the start of the trail, we will then walk the trail, and then hike the 3 miles back to the hotel” and I will feel justified looking up grounds for annulment be it as my marriage is obviously loaded with false pretenses.

Source And then I died...

And then I died…

2. When I discover there is no hot tub in the hotel, I will cry.  Nothing like an immobile way to heat up and relax your muscles.  Screw notions of hopping on the treadmill.

3. I don’t miss my kids when I’m not with them.  I know, skewer me now.  I’m skewering me.  I’m also a mom of two 3-and-unders and I’m tired…

4. When you see really good wine on clearance at the 7-Eleven for $3, buy it in bulk.  THIS IS THE TIME TO ABANDON YOUR SENSE OF SHAME.  In fact, grab a taxi to help you haul the cases back to your hotel.  The cost will far make up for it in the end.  Did I mention the wine was good?

Freedom Trail Boston

Because there is nothing I like better than looking at the grave sights of ancient people I never knew

5. Husband will get ticked off when I see a Bath and Body Shop along the way to the Freedom Trail and want to pop in to “stock up”.  How much soap do potty-training children seriously need??  And dude, Husband, admire me for the time economy.

6. You cannot overpack on cute dresses.  No, you will likely not wear ANY of them, but the sense of security with having a selection of several adorable choices cannot be overstated.  Load up the garment bag.

7. Subscribing to HuluPlus under an extraneous e-mail account does not guarantee unlimited access to the current season of Mad Men.  Not that I’m bitter.  And not that I’ve tried.

8. When one does persevere through severe and harsh said totalled 9 mile march to freedom, you have got cards.  Significant cards.  Yes, Husband, I can be bought off with the pitcher of margaritas at adorable cheap Mexican place we chanced upon.  As a bonus, I will continue wearing my wedding ring.

9. If the hotel offers a 10-option pillow menu, abandon your life savings now and just move in.  A water pillow??  I am in bliss.  I will also not move from the bed.  Can you pass me the remote?

10. There have been highlights and lowlights in our marriage.  If you couldn’t tell, none of them will be as oft-discussed as our day on the Freedom Trail.  Yes, I will still be whining about those 9 miles a year from now.  Also, I am right and you were wrong, Husband.

Go to Boston.  There are a lot of people dressed up like Ben Franklin, and it’s good for the soul.  Trust me.

2013-04-28 17.55.00


Mar 042013
business trip husband leaving @meredithspidel

Yes, in theory I understand this is not a vacation. I’m jealous anyway.

I had a near-death experience last week.  My husband went on a business trip.  I thought I was going to die.  I may have.  It went that well.

I am fully aware that there are parents who do this all the time.  Parents whose spouses travel on a regular basis and manage to get through the week without acting as though as national crisis of epic proportions has touched down within their home.  Moreover, there are those amazing souls who raise kiddos alone, 24/7, 365 days a year.  I bow to them, am in awe of them, and am left resonating the one single question, “HOW DO SINGLE PARENTS DO IT?”.  Without exaggeration, you deserve a standing ovation every time you manage to leave the house.  I understand that this is nothing short of an act of God.

I don’t entirely know what happened last week.  I remember a lot of screaming and a lot of Curious George.  I recall feeling like it was a major accomplishment when I saw that the refrigerator door had been left open and not only did I notice it, I actually managed to close it too.  Yeah, I’m just that amazing.

I learned some things this past week though, so it wasn’t a total wash.

I learned that my bladder is stronger than I previously thought.  During desperate attempts to sneakily check my e-mails before rolling out of bed in the morning and chance waking the kids, I was able to sustain my wanting-to-be-fed 70 lb. chocolate lab repeatedly jumping on my gut without peeing my pants.  Maybe it’s not yet time for those Depends after all?  Good news!

I learned that the silent treatment can still be a very effective relationship tool.  As in, when my husband told me he was eating breakfast on a pier in LA overlooking the water and catching up on e-mails, it was more effective for to not speak to him for the rest of the day vs. sending a hit man to kill him.  Excuse me darling, while I go scrub some poop off my hand, honey, and then I will be tickled to hear more about your paradise.

I learned that I will not scare away my friends when I text them and tell them that they are going to have adopt my children.  I have fallen completely in love with the sweet, sweet friend who offered to bring me dinner, the friend who let my kids crawl all over her at Chick Fil-A, my sister who is willing to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks for the 300th time, the friend who reassured me that my daughter was not dying of a brain tumor (hey, she had a bump on her neck), and the friend let me babble my woes over e-mail all week without telling me to shut up.  Crap, I’m a drama queen and now hate myself.

I learned that a glass of wine and catching up on old episodes of Revenge by yourself late at night when you are too tired to sleep is a lot of fun.  A lot of fun.  Oh darn, am I actually saying that I might look forward to parts of this if my husband abandons me again?

I learned that it’s kind of neat when my husband comes home.  I sort-of missed him.  And how I sort of get a free pass to sleep in the next day?  Um yeah, that was kind of cool.  But not worth it.

And yes, I am now seeking PTSD counseling after the whole ordeal.

Dec 072012

Welcome to anyone stopping by from the More Than Mommies link-up!  I’m glad to have you are visiting and and happy to be cohosting again this week.

Tell me I’m not alone on this. I really struggle with the fact that my husband just doesn’t get it.  He is a very good man, and a very smart man, but the fact remains that our lives are just entirely different right now.

He gets to leave the house.  Alone.  Without kids and moreover, without sippy cups.  Could you imagine leaving the house without the brightly colored plastic vessels that have become the bane of your existence?

Sometimes it seems like a lonely path

I digress.  When I get frustrated with handling the upteenth temper tantrum of the day, I try to explain things to him, but it doesn’t really work.  The thing is, our day-to-day couldn’t be more different.  He goes out and participates in the world and I take care of our world, who lives inside our home.

He is very active and involved with with caring for our kids, but even if he would rock out a whole Saturday alone with the kids, he would still not have the same experience as I.  Summoning up the patience for one day is unlike summoning it up for 5 days in a row.  So despite my best efforts to communicate my feelings, he can never really understand how it feels because he never really walks in my shoes.  And I never really walk in his shoes either.  I can only imagine trying to balance between work and family.  I know he works hard, so hard at this.

So are we just screwed with never really being able to understand each other?  Maybe we never will fully “get” each other, but I’m learning that this is okay.  While we may never  fully get what it’s like to be someone else, whether we’re married to them or not,  I don’t think that’s the point.  I think we each try to do the job in front of us and then just try our best to support those around us.  God gives us each the exact load in front of us that He knows we can handle.  My husband isn’t ever gonna really “get” my load, but that’s okay.  I’ll just need him to help me carry it once in a while, right?  Especially when the laundry basket is really heavy ;)

I think a lot of people are in this boat of not feeling “got”, so at least we’re in it together, right?  Parenting, life in general, or whatever you have in front of you can be a tricky, lonely road.  But there are others who are are walking down it at the same time, trust me.  And in the meantime, I’m going to try not to be too insanely jealous that my husband gets to pee alone.

Link up below to hop in on the More than Mommies Mixer!

 More than Mommies Mixer @meredithspidel @morethanmommies #MTMmixer


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Apr 102012

Thanks to my friend C for reminding me of how much this topic desperately needs to be discussed.  Let’s break it down: BK–I LOVED The Business Trip.  Bye-bye, hubby–bring on the girlie movies, plain white rice every single night of the week, and I’m good to go.  See you next weekend.  AK–shoot me, shoot me now.  Seriously, SO was not ever meant to be one of those super-amazing single moms.  Apparently am lacking quintessential endorphins required to do such a job, not to mention significant stamina and and energy.  So when Business Trip Time now rolls around, definitely more than a few panicked nights prior to hubby’s departure locked in my bathroom, crying in Fear of the Anticipated.  Somehow (read: significant amount of potent self-medication), we make it through.  But I don’t like these business trip things, basically am super-envious of my husband and his in-room movies and his freedom to sleep through the night.  So I now understand my facilitating his business trips to be an Act of Love on my behalf–perhaps an overly self-sacrificial view, but thinking Wife of the Year award coming through??

Feb 162012

…don’t exist in the life of a SAHM, plain and simple.  I was seriously ticked when my husband came home and announced that his company was now giving them 3 sick days per calendar year.  Retraction: I was jealous!  Here is the thing: as soon as you decide it’s a good idea to push a being out of your vagina or suffer through an insanely tedious adoption process and then subsequently commit to a 24 hr/day routine of diapers and sippy cups for the foreseeable future, you can kiss any thoughts of getting sick goodbye.  It’s a luxury and don’t let anyone tell you differently.  Even if you are so flu-ridden that your spouse HAS to take a day off work, you are still “on”.  Let’s be honest, what mother, however sick, is going to ignore her child’s desperate screams for “Mommy!”?  And who else in the world knows what the very exact post-lunchtime/pre-naptime sequence of events is (read: toddler throws ginormous temper tantrum if even one thing is “off-kilter”)?  Regardless of whether or not someone else is on duty, you’d better believe that your bedroom door is getting knocked on (screw that, just barged in through).  And when no else can be there–lucky Mommy.  No matter if you can’t breathe through your nose or walk upright without puking, it’s all you, Mom.  So yeah, when my husband gets a PAID pass to curl up in bed when he’s “feeling under the weather”, it’s very possible I may be ruminating on some seriously unfair covetous thoughts…

Oct 272011

Okay ladies, let’s be honest, who doesn’t do this?  It’s about a 1/2 hr. before your husband is due home and you start casing out the driveway, maybe peering out the windows, every slight noise offering potential hope that perhaps it’s the garage door and your husband somehow has made it home early.  Help is on the way!  And the beautiful thing is–if the house is a disaster, the kids are screaming, and you yourself are still in some odd cross-combo of pajamas and day clothes, never having had time to fully make the transition earlier that day, he can’t come home and flee in terror.  He put a ring on it,* so he’s CAN’T LEAVE!  3 cheers for forced commitment!

This stalking behavior is also evident when something happens at home that absolutely requires his attention.  This ranges from my personal emotional crises to the pugnent smell of burned plastic that slapped me in the face when I opened my son’s door after naptime yesterday (how does a 2 yr. old produce this smell in his bedroom with absolutely no discernible cause?  Should I be concerned?  Probably.  Am I surprised?  After 2+ yrs. with this kid, not in the least…).  In any case, when the home front requires my husband’s attention, I not only expect him to be available to give it, I get ticked if I can’t get a hold of him.  I mean, seriously, what at work could possibly be more important than telling me where the heating pad is stored from last winter?!
Lest you think I’m the crazy lady who can’t figure out how to reset the demon-possessed toaster oven without calling her husband 3 times on his way to work, let me reassure you–I am. :)

*love Beyonce for making that a regular part of our modern-day vernacular–so eloquently stated!

Oct 192011

Today is a momentous occasion in our home–it is 7:43am and both of my children are still sleeping.  I can probably count on one hand the number of times my son has slept past 7am in his short life.  When this rare event does happen, there is cause for incredible rejoicing.  My husband went into check on the little guy before he left for work.  Upon discovering we still had a Sleeper, I immediately switched into covert operations mode.  As you might imagine, this involves hushed voices, low-to-no lighting, tip-toeing, etc.   When we both made it downstairs, my husband dared to start speaking in a normal tone of voice and (gasp) used the refrigerator to refill his water bottle.  This initiated a “discussion” in which I told him that he was being as noisy as a herd of elephants.  He insisted that this was not the case, but I am standing firm that even a loud sigh in this case would be offensive.  See, my day is exponentially improved by each minute I have alone prior to the kids being up.  The more I can get done before, the smoother things flow the rest of the day, whereas his day is largely unaffected by whether the kids get up or not.  So he cannot possibly understand the importance of why he should choose to walk the 10 miles to work in the rain versus chancing opening the garage door and waking up the kids.  And perhaps forgo his shoes, as sometime the laces click against the floorboards and make a sound.  A little common sense, please! ;)

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