It’s a big night around these parts, friends. To restate, I am leaving the house. Before you fall over in shock, let me tell you the whole story–it’s to ATTEND A GALA. Okay, now I’ll pause a minute while this sinks in…
…
Not sinking in? I know, I get it. This is truly an unbelievable occurrence. Mostly for me, who has never, ever attended a gala. Has never even imagined attending a gala. Will never attend a gala again.
But you see, my husband got an invite to a fancy-pants one at The Philly Art Museum tonight. For a machine. That’s right, a machine. In his science world, apparently new machines warrant celebrations of epic proportions. While I remain marginally concerned about hanging with a crowd who likes to dress-up on a Monday night to celebrate machines, the simple fact remains: I am being offered a night out. AT A GALA.
So while I madly fret over what to wear and prepare to meet Condoleezza Rice (In my understanding, there is never a gala that Condoleezza Rice does not attend, correct? This notion is partially fueled by my obsession with People magazine and limited awareness of galas, but I’m pretty sure I’m right), I remain very aware that I might be screwed.
I do not know how to behave at galas.
Should I start stroking the machine in awe immediately upon seeing it? On the other hand, will I be arrested if I touch the machine?
What if I accidentally knock over the waiter’s tray when grabbing a champagne? Please God, tell me there will be champagne.
Forget Condoleezza, will I have to shake hands with Angelina Jolie? I am strictly Team Jennifer and will always be; for this I will not apologize.
The eventualities are daunting.
In any case, I have decided I need to commit to a few ground-rules to help see myself through the night. I always function better when boundaries are firmly in place.
1) I WILL NOT robot-dance if there if fast music. I am really quite good at The Robot, but I am not sure this will be fully appreciated at this event. Best saved for a more appropriate occasion.
2) I WILL order a fancy drink–because I can. And I will feel fantastically elaborate when I do–because I owe it to the yoga pants I wear ever other single day of the year.
3) I WILL NOT fantasize about going home and watching Hallmark movies. I WILL appreciate that I’m in the company of other adults and this can be pleasant even if there are no Santa Clauses in snow globes winking in the background.
4) I WILL NOT sneak into the ladies’ room to check in on my Amazon lightening deals. Horribly tempting, but potentially better done at another time.
5) I WILL allow myself to soak up the sweetness of a night out, flirt with my husband and enjoy the gift of a fancy night out during the holiday season. It’s a total win–how could I go wrong?
Friends, I’m SO acing out the gala–I can totally feel a shining moment coming on 😉
First image credit: depositphotos.com, image ID:6584928, copyright:nikascorpionka
Second image credit: depositphotos.com, image ID: 10709258, copyright:pressmaster
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Janine Huldie says
I got to go to a wedding last month and now a masquerade sweet 16 ball with my husband. And got to admit still can’t believe I am getting to go out like this twice in less then 2 months time myself! But hope you enjoy yourself and you definitely deserve it my friend 🙂
Meredith says
Crazy times, Janine. CRAZY TIMES! Enjoy 🙂
Teri says
Have fun!!! I’ve never been to a gala before. Keep your shoes on and be home by midnight.
Meredith says
Excellent plan, Teri!
Eva Natiello says
Sounds festive! A little bit of advice: Plan a flash mob, who doesn’t like one of those? 😉
Meredith says
Yes! A flash mob! Brilliant, Eva!
Chris Carter says
I honestly can’t remember when I last attended a gala or any formal Holiday affair!!! Looks like take out chinese and my snowflake fleece – but I WILL make me a yummy fancy drink!!!
I’ll catch up on the Hallmark channel for you while you’re gone. 😉
Meredith says
Listen, your night is ALWAYS my dream, but I can live up the wild side for you when I do get out 😉
Frugalistablog says
Condoleeza Rice? Whoa girl, you are shitting with the big dogs as they say. Have fun. In my experience, ahem, I find that galas aren’t THAT much different than other parties. There’s your usual awkward moments and drunk guests that make things interesting.
Meredith says
Frugie, you ALWAYS know what you’re talking about. Also, you make me snort–A LOT.
Femme @ femmefrugality says
I went to a fundraising one a couple of years ago… Five months pregnant. So sadly, no fancy drinks. And also no machine to stroke! Hope you have a great time and can’t wait to hear how it goes!
Meredith says
Oh no, honey, we need to get you back, SANS THE PREGNANCY!!! 😉
Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says
Once in a while, I get to go to a fancy Schmany business related shindig with my hubby. In April, I ended up in a bar called the Bourbon Room in Vegas with my hubby and about 10 of his male colleagues until 2:00am – I was definitely out of my league and very uncomfortable!! Fortunately, most of them were just buzzed enough not to notice my awkwardness! 🙂 Hope you have a great time!
Meredith says
Lisa, this sounds like brilliant fun–awkwardness included! Please have drink for me next time 🙂