One night recently, as we were drifting off into dreamland, my husband grasped my hand and said, “My heart breaks for you.” If you know my husband, you know that he is far from cliche and far from saying anything lightly. So given all that is going on with my family right now, this was […]
He Who Screams the Loudest…
…wins. Sad, but true. Examples: dog barking psychotically at whomever graces our threshold–I must immediately tend to his pacification or risk upsetting the entire household (the importance of this during naptime cannot be underscored enough!); my son begging repeatedly for a juice refill results in his wish granted b/c my tolerance for gratiating noise is […]
The Butt Through the Window: a Pre-Valentine Apologetic Love Letter to Wells Fargo
No, the butt of interest is not either of my children’s, but mine. Here’s the thing: at some point post-conception, it no longer became a bizarre thing for the bank teller to look out the window at the drive-through and be greeted not with an image of my sweet smiling face, but rather of my […]
Why did I not think of that?!
So we’ve all done it–kicked ourselves when we hear about some new invention that is going to make someone millions of dollars that we so easily could have thought of if we’d just spent a little time and creativity. My latest horror is related to the children’s music industry. Why was I not the one […]
“Mommy Got Boobs On”
My two year old son just pointed at my chest and told me this. Good to know. I’m not sure exactly what makes today any different than any other day, but in case you were wondering, this Mom of the Year has definitely got her boobs on today.
I May Have Peed Myself Just a Little…
Behold: My Future (at least it comes in the flattering “soft peach” shade, tight?) This is possibly related to unsavory post-pregnancy “issues” that those of you who have birthed a being will understand. Also possible: rocking a nasty cold, I coughed really, really hard. Still possible: I had postponed a breakaway to the bathroom […]
A Man of Piles
So my husband is a Man of Piles. I don’t get it. Sure, I understand not being able to handle everything that comes your way immediately, so you need to toss stuff aside and deal with it later. The baffling aspect of my husband’s technique though, is that he has at least 4 distinct piles […]
Audrey Hepburn Tribute
Straight-out tribute to the late, great Audrey Hepburn herself. This woman just had it going on. And when she was done having it going on, she had it going on a little more. She oozed class from every pore of her being–from her looks, her attire, her words, her general presence…I wanted to be cool […]
1950s Housewives
I don’t get it. I think about these amazing 1950s housewives (who so, so had it going on–seriously, their hair was always done and they were what, a size 2??), and wonder how they did it. Not only that, they most often did it in heels (ahh!!!). The thing is, they didn’t have DVDs, DVD […]
Chick-fil-A Job
My beloved friend JC recently suggested that she should get a job at Chick Fil-A, as it is our favorite place on earth (or at least mine, but I give her more credit than myself, so she probably would be able to think of some place less fast-foodish and more respectable to top her list…) […]
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