Oftentimes there is a lot of emphatic raging related to the blog around these parts:
“What the heck is this blogging good for?”
“I need clean underwear!”
“What the heck is “The Twitter” anyway?”
It might be helpful to note that 98% of the time I am the one raging. I am the one confused, confused as to why I am doing this, confused as to how to best do it, and confused as to whether if it is even worth doing it to begin with.
Time presses on, and usually I’m only increasingly confused as it does, but a few things have become a little clearer. It’s astounding how truths can come to light while shaving or changing sheets–it’s nature’s way of rewarding us for tending to the picky stuff.
Recently, I’ve been generally rolling around in my post-BlogU high (what an incredible experience!) and enjoying a few very cool blog-related realizations:
1) I am capable as a human being. This transcends into directing people where to carry heavy boxes at a conference (albeit not always directing them to the right place. Apologies once again to several BlogU staff for the senseless hauling of door prizes across campus and back) to being able to create and write this blog in the first place. The thing is, it never hurts to believe in yourself. And make it happen, despite the poopy diapers and sippy cup-related needs.
2) Despite my horrid control-freak planner self, income happens, regardless of the panic I pour into fussing about it. Blogging is such a weird business. By nature, I would love to know exactly how much I am making each month and carefully budget my pennies out. It doesn’t work this way. Some months, the ad revenue and sponsored posts are friendly; other months, not so much. There is very little to nothing I can do to control this. I try to look at it as a bonus for being able to fund our grocery budget when it pays out and then engage in a lot of soothing self-talk during slow months.
3) I am tired. I love my blog. I love the people I’ve met through it even more. My children are still real and will age at the normal human rate. Some day, this blog will end. My children will not. They are my sole legacy on this earth and I will never, ever regret pouring more into them than anything else on this earth. Also, I like to sleep.
4) It is okay to insist on Urban Decay eyeliner. I am blessed to be besties with the very cool Stephanie Giese of Binkies and Briefcases, the founder and CEO of BlogU. We work together, we support each other, and then I make her wait for me while I put on my make-up. When she loaded my van with a suitcase 1/3 the size of my own monstrous beast of a packing vessel, I could have felt scared. Very scared. Instead, I realized that she one of those lovely minimalist people. I, on the other hand, don’t travel without several cases of make-up. But here’s the surprise: people will often accept you for who you are. Excess eyeliner or not.
5.) I am not totally dumb about technology. I am mostly dumb. I will still endlessly struggle over html. I will probably call my husband in tears most times I try to figure something new out. But…I kind of get it. For me, “kind of” is huge. Turns out, I can be smarter than I think. So go ahead and push yourself–the flipside of pushing is that you might end up feeling incredibly boss.
6.) Working is a beast; I kind of love it. The sticky wicket about my job situation is that I have one, but don’t have childcare, at least not regularly. By the time I figure I can remedy this situation, my children will be in school all day anyway. In the meantime, Mommy panics a lot, uses a lot of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and a lot of lollipop bribes. Am I the best mom? Not even close. Am I the perfectly on the ball? Never. Do I love my kids and try the best I can to manage each and every single day? Always.
7.) Love those around you. The Keynote address was titled, “Collegues, not Competition”, and this couldn’t have been said better. Life is far too short for smallness in any form. Support and care for those who God puts in your life to the best of your ability. Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat has discussed how “a rising tide lifts all the boats”. Such a smart, such a perfect approach.
I have no idea what tomorrow holds for me to learn. But for now? These are the truths that are supporting me. That, plus all of you. Thanks for hanging with me through all of this, my friends.