Wednesday would have been my mother’s 63rd birthday, but it wasn’t.
It wasn’t because today, September 2, is actually the 6 month anniversary of her death. How are we doing since she died? Okay. Truly, overall, okay. Things like this never feel good, and they’re not supposed to. But we are working at piecing things together and moving on with life. Mentally, I sometimes parallel it to feeling the loss of a limb. It would be so achingly painful, so obscenely real, but you’re probably not giving up on life just yet. You would keep going. Somehow, in between the poopy diapers, preschool sign-ups, church commitments, and neighborhood BBQs, you would keep going. If you’ve lost a loved one, you know what I’m talking about.
|Source: Microsoft Office ClipArt
Some of the dates and days are a little trickier than others…
In my grief courses in school, I learned about how difficult holidays can be post-death of a loved one, but experiencing this firsthand really hits the phenomena home. If you discount St. Patrick’s Day (I do, as despite no matter how hard I try, I will never truly be Irish), Easter was the first “real” holiday we celebrated without my mom. An underlying, relentless frustration and crankiness started a few days before the holiday and didn’t let up until it passed. At least part of it had to be that it was my daughter’s first Easter, and my mother never lived to see my beautiful sweetheart in her frilly Easter dress, something I know she would have loved. The rest of the frustration came from who-knows-where.
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