When does parent-speak first develop? In utero? After birth? Upon initial notions of conception? I’m not sure, but I know there is a whole boatload of ridiculous things I say on a daily basis that largely make no sense.
|Source: Microsoft Office Clip Art|
My sister works in a nursing home and told me the other day that she was going to have to stop hanging out with me because she has started saying “Wow-wee!” all this time. In her words, “this may work well with kids, but 80 yr. olds respond less well.” Why do I even say this? Why must every “wow” be followed up with a “wee!”? It is causing me to lose what little adult companionship I have in my life. This is not good.
My husband and I speak of “the morning round-up” with regularity. We understand this refers to the morning routine of hauling everyone out of bed, toileting them and throwing breakfast in front of them before anyone can throw a temper tantrum, but it sounds like we are herding cattle. A reasonable comparison, but still…
Pooping on the potty becomes “taking a poopster”, “M&Ming it” (when we give our son his bribe for using the potty) is now a verb, and “the good stuff” is the brand-name formula vs. generic. “Stealing a program” is when Mommy and Daddy go crazy at night and try to sneak in watching a TV show after the kids are in bed and before we ourselves pass out. The need for a “hose down” is when the grime accumulated on your child is so extreme, a bath is the only way to go. And obviously, “giving it a blow” is when my son fake sneezes just so he can pull out a kleenex and wipe his nose just so he has an excuse to use the fancy new automatic trashcan.
I looked up “vernacular” at Merriam-Webster because I wasn’t entirely sure of the definition:
of, relating to, or being a nonstandard language or dialect of a place, region, or country
So who’s in on this new language? What words do you have to add to The Parenting Vernacular?