Kohls and the Elastic Waistband Jeans

Recently placed an order to Kohls online and it got majorly screwed up.  When Kohls sent me a $20 off $20 coupon to compensate, I wasn’t complaining.  Personally, I would have no trouble whatsoever spending $20, but I gave it to my husband and told him to just go wild and get something for himself.  Upon further analysis, I can see that I made two major mistakes: 1)My husband doesn’t shop for himself, so I should have known I was asking him to buy clothing for either myself or the children, which is just something that should never, ever happen, and 2)I sent him into a physical store during the holiday season.  Let’s just say bustling holiday shoppers replete with their Kohls cash and store coupons and crazy shopping lists don’t exactly “agree” with my husband’s demeanor.

I was on the phone with a friend while he was out (another mistake) and I told her to expect about 16 interruptions during our conversation.  I was wrong.  My husband went for an even 25 phone calls to me to help him sort through this obviously nightmarish shopping trip.  After he reported that there was not a single item of acceptable children’s clothing in the entire store (apparently at the exact moment he walked into Kohls, they pulled all the girls’ pants, coats, and jackets, and boys’ sweatshirts or shoes from the shelves, naturally), HE THEN DETERMINED IT WAS TIME TO SHOP FOR JEANS FOR HIS WIFE.  I don’t even think I need to give you a run down on how this went down.  When you factor in the post-pregnancy weight and the pain of trying to explain midrise waistlines and bootcut vs. slim fit to a man, and oh–the fact that you CANNOT BUY JEANS WITHOUT TRYING THEM ON…I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when he asked me if I wanted him to just buy me some with an elastic waistband?!?  Seriously, is there any better compliment to give a woman?  Ahhh!!! Your mental image here is me now banging my head against the kitchen counter mantra-ing “Never send your husband to Kolhs…never send your husband to Kohls…”

So about 100,000 points to him for being wonderful enough to even try, another million for taking my son with him on this excursion, and like a triple bajillion for somehow managing to come home with the most perfect pair of jeans I have owned in years…

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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