It doesn’t surprise me anymore when someone says they only wear yoga pants; it surprises me when someone wears something other than yoga pants. What occasion could possibly call for wearing something that diverts from this standard mom uniform? Maybe church, or possibly a night out, you might say? Completely unnecessary Let me clue you in on the key to successful continuous yoga pant wardrobing: it’s all about classification.
I hear you, this can sound like a lot of work, but if you take a few minutes now to separate out your pairs, you are guaranteed a future free of dress code faux pas. You’ll want to make two piles. One for regular, around-the-house/grocery-store shopping days and one for fancier occasions. They make really nice yoga pants nowadays people. Like, ones that border on being shapewear and help suck you in and such. You will look like a rockstar when wearing these. And if the people at the next wedding you go to give you funny looks, it’s just because they are jealous. Trust me on this one.
Yoga pants are very welcoming to a variety of tops, but don’t make the amateur mistake of matching your good pants with your playground/home-crafting shirts. Now, I don’t mean to be an elitist snob, but if you are going to go to the trouble of breaking out your fancy pants, don’t taint them with an overly-stained shirt. One or two splotches are fine, otherwise, just save the more beat-up shirts for the days when you keep it casual.You may want to consider separating them into different dresser drawers to prevent careless mistakes. I have too often made an early-morning sleep-deprived blunder when grabbing for a fresh pair. Thinking I was just pulling on garden-variety regular yoga pants, I discovered later in the morning that I had wasted one of my best pairs on a day at home. Seriously, I really don’t care about impressing the mail lady, why wasn’t I more careful?! And after the first peanut butter smear of the day, it’s too late to go back. You just have to suck it up, wear your nice pants proudly and pray that your second good pair will make it through the laundry loop in time for your outing tomorrow.
Yoga pants have been a saving grace for me. Honestly, my full conversion to becoming a yoga-pant devotee was really born out of a dignity issue. For some bizarre reason, Aeropastle sweatpants fit me perfectly. I used to buy them in bulk, not really caring about color/print/etc. Then one day I accidentally looked at myself in the mirror. To my horror, “AERO” was printed in boldface across my butt. Now this may have been adorable when I was 14, but in my 30s, this was downright embarrassing. I mean, I have my standards. From this moment on, I switched to the much safer, script-free yoga pants and haven’t looked back.
The important takeaway lesson here is that you should always be checking out your butt in the mirror. If your husband acts like you’re crazy, just say that you have on good authority that this is essential to maintaining your dignity. You never know when a sneaky logo is going to embroider itself on there.
Okay, I think I’ve got the basics mostly covered. Let me know if I’m missing anything and happily yoga-pant on, my friends.
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