Oct 232012
 

My husband and I have differing definitions of good ideas.  I like to consider myself more “open to new experiences which could positively benefit my life” whereas he typically just classifies me as crazy.  Examples:

1. Those cleansing foot pad things.  You know, the ones that suck all the toxins out of your body through your feet while you sleep?  I go to bed and then just wake up sans loads of internal dirt?  Heck yeah, sign me up!  Cleanses in general sound awesome to me.  Who doesn’t want  their gastrointestinal system to be super-shiny clean?  Or to shed all stress from their lives by simply taking a supplemental pill?  My husband is less on board with the whole cleanse concept…

2. Pictures. Lots of them.  I admittedly have a picture problem, and am an absolute sucker for cute pics of my kids.  Ideally I would sort of paper my walls with photos.  I see an ad for a place that would gorgeously frame the pictures for me, such as posterframedepot.com, and drool a little.  Surely, leaving some empty wall space isn’t really necessary?

3.  Gel manicures.  Despite my initial skepticism, I then sort of went and fell in love with them.  Only catch?  They are more than a tad pricey.  How can my husband not get the importance of having glorious nails?  Seriously, while the rest of my poopy diaper-changing unwashed-hair days hang over me like weighty threat, let me at least have this one small corner of orderly perfection!

4. Hotpants.  All I have to do is wear pants and then I lose weight?  Ummm…I usually wear pants anyway, and definitely have a few pounds to kick?  I’m in.

Source
Put them on and then look like this? Um, yeah!

5. Hot yoga.  Anticipating your gasps of shock now–I have never done yoga.  I’d like to.  I’d especially like to do hot yoga b/c it sounds wildly renewing and refreshing.  I think if I told my husband I wanted to spend the money on hiring a sitter to watch my kids and paying for a class, he would first plotz, then crank up the space heater in our bedroom and queue up a yoga DVD for me.  Might work okay?

6. In the vein of exercise, I really want to ace out something amazingly cool like a Tough Mudder.  My husband is a good man.  He would support this.  He would also be the very first to know and understand the potential incongruence between this goal and how very much I despise exercise.  I’m still keeping this on the bucket list.

7.  Three years of Self magazine for only $11.97 from that amazing online deal?  I love Self!  Dang you, Hubby, why must you point out that bedside pile of magazines threatening to topple over and bury our toddlers if they get too close?  I might gain a fitness tip if I actually ever get around to reading it, so really, it would be a total score…

Source
A free gym bag? I SO need this…

8.  Signing up to help with _________.   Oh yeah, I don’t have time for that.  My kids need me.  My husband needs me.  My abysmal laundry pile needs me.  Priorities aren’t a bad thing.

9. Big Love Season 5 on DVD (bought used from Amazon of course).  Sure, we need to feed the kids.  And okay, fine, I have no time to watch 1/10 of the current on-air shows I’d love to see.  But…I’m completely fascinated by polygamy (not in the “I want to get on board” kind of way) and I love this show.   Have managed to somehow scrimp together viewings of the first four seasons without an HBO subscription, but I’ve somehow lost my free-TV viewing powers after having 2 kids and I really want to see the last season of this treasure.

10. The Groupon for _______.  The allure of any online Groupon, whether I truly need ______ or not, is powerful.  I see it as saving a bunch of money.  My husband sees it as spending a bunch of money I would never have otherwise spent.  He’s right, I’m wrong.  Soak up this statement and savor it, my love.

In general, you’re welcome, dear husband.  I’ve just publicly delivered my Christmas list.  So while I’m spending all of my free brain space trying to think of creative ideas for you, you can just link through to the foot pads, order up and call it a day.  Love you too.

 

 **Compensation from link to posterframedepot.comwas received**

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Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, dedicatedly earning her title one epic parenting fail at a time. When her kids aren't busy pummeling each other with Legos or requiring their 16th sippy cup refill of the day, she tries to offer quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents of the world and all their empathizers. She remains entirely terrified by crafts, promises to never share any useful household tips, and is fully committed to a less serious look at the world of parenting.

Latest posts by Meredith (see all)

  46 Responses to “When Your Husband Says No”

  1.  

    Woah. They have weight-loss pants? Why aren’t I wearing some right. this. second? My muffin top needs these. Badly.

  2.  

    ps. Great use of the word “plotz”.

  3.  

    Hahahah! They also have a Spanx looking weight loss thing you “only have to wear for 10 minutes a day”. My husband and I are always getting a kick out of that. I figure maybe I should just run in my spanx :) I love your public Christmas list!

  4.  

    I loved how you summed this up into a Christmas list, because my husband just tells me to buy it for myself and he could never be bothered trying to figure it out himself, but you laid it out perfectly here and may need to do something like this light a fire under his rump, lol!! Meredith, I loved all your ideas, especially those hot pants :) :)

    •  

      Exactly! Write a blog post about it and then can’t ignore it, right? ;)

    •  

      I actually often DO buy it for myself, and as I walk through the door, I plop the bag on the kitchen table and say, “Happy Birthday/Merry Christmas/Happy Anniversary/Happy Mother’s Day to me!” and walk away. My husband now knows to put those bags in a safe place, and make sure to pick up a card and flowers on the given day.

      •  

        How are you this smart?! Pure brilliance, and you always get what you really want this way. Amazing.

      •  

        OMG! I am a new wife, I just got married in October, but Hubby and me have been together since 2008. So this year while I was out shopping for everyone else I picked up a few things for me along the way, then got home and started adding my things to Hubby’s present stash for the kids. He started opening bags one day so we could do a present review. Funny thing was I kept waiting for MY stuff to come out in the mix. Nope! So I ask… ummm isn’t there stuff missing. He said Nope, I shot him the evil eye, he said “what I moved it all!” I of course ask why, he says what happens if you NEED something out of there before you are to receive it? I said great then I know where to find it! He said no…. it means I need to go shopping, for you, and try and get it right….. not happening! Love that you started picking up stuff yourself, but seriously I am hiding your presents you bought for yourself from you. To save me from the disappointment of getting it wrong. (FYI he always buys me good stuff, the stuff I would never buy myself, I may look at it longingly but the price tag chases me off! We have a no presents rule for ourselves, from each other, which he always breaks! He says “It’s from the kids!” (I started it a few years back, we had this rule, then I went shopping for presents for him from his kids, because we actually had them all for christmas that year.. Now we have them every Christmas and he uses them and my dirty trick against me!)

        •  

          He sounds like a smart man! Way to make sure he can give you stuff you really want and stuff he wants to give you! So cute, and thanks for sharing this! Always nice to hear about other gift-getting/giving games! :)

  5.  

    We must be married to the same man. My list is very similar except I would want a fancy planner that I would probably use for a month. The remaining 11 months would be chaos.

    Oh and I have been dying to try those foot pads. I watched a commercial for that and could not believe the grossness on the foot pad in the morning. Of course Hubby thinks its a scam.

    •  

      Oooh! A planner! Now that is music to my ears. Not that I have a crazy obsessive need to try and grasp a sliver of control in my life or anything…;) Great idea!

  6.  

    Ha! I can get on board with all those things. What is it with never getting to watch what we want on tv?? All week, it’s Dora, and all weekend, it’s football…sigh.

    •  

      I know. Darn kids. So selfish dominating the TV like that and keeping Mommy from seeing all her soapy ridiculous dramas…

  7.  

    Hehehe… I can totally relate to this! Only… my husband is the experimenter, and I’m the conservative one :)

  8.  

    Love it! I can definitely relate to most of these! :) You so need to try the foot pad things and let me know if it works! Haha! I have been curious about those for years…And I swear I am going to buy my first Groupon any day now! ;)

    •  

      I am so fascinated by them! Will definitely let you know if I try and be careful with those Groupons–it’s seriously addicting!

  9.  

    I am SO on your hubby’s team on this one! I kinda wish I could lighten up about money, but I am just too damn practical :)
    Janie x
    Saying that, I used to sell foot patches and I LOVED using them – no idea if they did what they claimed, but they were initially pretty gross!

    •  

      Get out! Do you think you saw any benefit to the foot patches? You are doing nothing to help my cause of holding out on these–now I am just more intrigued! ;)

  10.  

    Have you ever tried Spanx? OMG, they make dresses look amazing. And I bet if you put them under jeans and a nice sweater, it would give them impression that you’ve been working out like crazy.

    I’m always telling The Hubs about the amazing savings I made when I purchased B instead of A. And he always says, “Dani, if you’ve bought something, it’s not saving.” ;)

  11.  

    You might want to try the smaller Tough Mudder. Kyle said that was plenty. :)

  12.  

    I love your blog so much. Substitute Zumba for Hot Yoga and Sons of Anarchy for Big Love and our list is exactly the same.

    •  

      Aw, thanks AnnMarie. I love checking in on yours too. Zumba–now that’s something I definitely need to add to my list. The name alone just sounds so cool.

  13.  

    Haha, husbands can be such downers. Luckily, my husband frequently splurges on the strangest things, like paintings made from animal poop (not joking) and multiple lunch boxes…for himself (still not joking). It makes it easier for me to justify the purchase of groupons/hot yoga classes/manicures/an unreasonable number of magazine subscriptions. TALU

    •  

      Now that’s a strategy, Emily! Get your husband to make even more ridiculous purchases and then you can shop away and still look normal. Great call and good luck with all the poop art and lunch boxes ;)

  14.  

    Ok so I had to go check out those foot pads and now I totally want some! lol

  15.  

    Sounds like your husband and mine would be BFFs. A few weeks ago my husband oh-so-casually joked that I can’t go shopping at Target ever again until I can identify all the items that haven’t even been taken out of the bags in my house. How did I respond? After the kids went to sleep, I went to Target and bought myself some comfy PJ pants. (Ok, not quite the same thing, but the logic applies. And I assure you, I’ve done/wanted to do just about everything you listed, while my husband acts as a reality check for the topic at hand.)

  16.  

    Found you on the mommy brain mixer this week! Following and commenting from http://fluffimama.blogspot.com/
    I hope you’ll come check me out and do the same. Thanks <3

  17.  

    I like your enthusiasm for wanting to try new things! Your Christmas list sounds totally realistic to me, so I hope he delivers! Keep an eye on Living Social- they run promos for Seva Power Yoga and other area studios about once a year. He could kill two birds with one stone ;)

    •  

      Great tip with the Living Social yoga deals! Ha! He could definitely score two things on the list with this one. Thanks for stopping by, Jeannette :)

  18.  

    Meredith- this is awesome!
    I am in love with gel manicures so I can understand. Pricey but they last a long time if done correctly.
    And your obsession with magazines is like me. I have about 50 lining up on my nightstand, and Greg says- he is canceling the subscription. I told him don’t you dare!
    I have never watched Big Love- good?

    •  

      If you have a big chunk of free time (ha!), I would definitely get into Big Love–so much fun! And here’s to guarding those magazine subscriptions–I’m right there with you!

  19.  

    Off to purchase hot pants right now…I already tried those tennis shoes that are supposed to tone your legs, so I am clearly all about a quick fix! ;)

    •  

      Absolutely! Let me know how they work out. I’ve decided to focus my efforts on the foot pad things for now, but can always reconsider ;)

  20.  

    Wait, you have yoga pants but have never practiced yoga?? Okay, we need to remedy this immediately. What’s your plan? And hot yoga doesn’t count (sorry). :)

  21.  

    You definitely need the Self subscription so I you can get those workout moves to get ready for the Tough Mudder. And for the tote so you can carry your stuff to the hot yoga place. Definitely.

  22.  

    Ha! Good call. The Self is integral to making the other two happen. Off to subscribe now!

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