Who thought of this one? Obviously no one with young kids. Seriously, is the precise timing of the calculated bedtime ritual not delicate enough without throwing the whole routine off by an hour? I work hard for my children’s bedtimes, and I don’t care whether the Daylight Saving conspiracy is taking or throwing an hour […]
I Never Wish My Kids Knew…
…that I: 1. Considered propping them curbside with a “for-sale” sign (I know, contact Child Abuse Authorities immediately) 2. Wished that they were 6 yrs. old when they were only 6 mo. old. 3. Secretly fantasized about sedating them. 4. Sedated them with Benedryl. 5. Debated whether or not having children was “fiscally responsibly” 6. Been […]
Sometimes You Just Pray for the Cats
Mommy is ordering an “I (heart) Sprinkles and Red Dye #5” t-shirt for herself. Anyone else want in?? If I had to guesstimate, I would say about 98% of this child-rearing gig doesn’t go down the way I originally pictured in my mind. Recent case in point: the idyllic decoration of Valentine cookies I had imagined resulted […]
Aiming for Second-Worst
We judgmental moms, carefully “working” the room by ranking the horrendous-ness of all the children present… Yes, we modern moms shoot high. Further shout-out to my friend T, who has apparently been a significant inspiration for blog fodder as of late…I was telling her how my son recently held hellacious court at the b-day party of our favorite […]
He Who Screams the Loudest…
…wins. Sad, but true. Examples: dog barking psychotically at whomever graces our threshold–I must immediately tend to his pacification or risk upsetting the entire household (the importance of this during naptime cannot be underscored enough!); my son begging repeatedly for a juice refill results in his wish granted b/c my tolerance for gratiating noise is […]
A Pop Quiz
“Do as I do” has to be the motto, willingly or unwillingly, of parents of young children. I have just sort of given up on the cost of the multiple boxes of kleenex my son is burning through on a daily basis. He sees me pick up a kleenex every 2 seconds to blow my […]
The Forgetters and the Rememberers
No, not the name of some hot new mom band on the scene, although that would be awesome.* I’m referring to the phenomena that happens when parents get beyond the super-young-kid stage. In my experience, they fall in one of two categories: those who remember how hard and painful it is and those who forget. […]
Pre-school Sign-up
Don’t laugh. This is serious, serious business for the SAHM. Here is my dilemna: I am in love with the Bible study we attend on Thurs. mornings. I feel that my son is too young to attend preschool 3 days/week in addition to his nursery class at said Bible study. Ergo, pursuing the rare 2 […]
The Proverbial Spot
What is the wet spot on Mommy’s clothing??? The not-remote possibilities include, but are not limited to: pee, runny poop, spit-up, vomit, formula, water, dirty water from the recycle bin, generic Zantac syrup, coffee, wine, diet coke, pureed sweet potatoes (or any fruit/veggie variation thereof [again including but not limited to], such as plums, peaches, […]
The Ubiquitous 5th Grade Graduation Pic
Apparently there are now graduations for every occasion from the completion of the baby nursery at church to the celebration of doctorate degrees. Knowing this, if my children choose to go on to graduate school, I anticipate attending an average of 19 commencement ceremonies per child (poor Grandma and Grandpa having to sit through that many tedious […]
