When my mom died last March, my head became full of thoughts in the way that it does when nothing makes sense any more. Everything was ramming around, clamoring for airtime and getting blurred in the jumble. However, in the midst of this confusion, there was a singular thought that managed to surface and kept […]
For the love of God, get the lady a book!
The plan was not to even mention my mother on the blog this Mother’s Day week. Sometimes, after a certain amount of sadness, I just don’t like being sad any more. And sometimes, if I’m going to feel sad, there is something less personal about blasting my feelings to the entire blogosphere? But then it […]
Grief Does Funny Things
It’s Good Friday, and today, death and suffering are near and present. Easter’s joy, blessing, renewal, and sense of hope are coming, but now we hang out in the pain for a bit. It may be the time of year or just that I don’t handle holidays well in general any more, but for some reason, […]
I Just Want to Pee Alone and I’m not going to shut up about it
I’m in book. I’M ACTUALLY IN A BOOK, and basically my poor husband will hear about nothing else for the foreseeable future. In general, the gist of our conversations: Husband: “Can you pass the salt?” Me: “You seriously are going to talk to me without even congratulating me on the book?” Or, if I’m feeling […]
I Will Dry Your Tears
A year ago today, my mother died. It was a sad and horrible day, and I will never forget the last moments I shared with her. As she lay dying, she was unable to speak. I sat with her, and I talked with her, and tried desperately to seek closure through a one-sided conversation. Her […]
Slayed by the Holidays
Wednesday would have been my mother’s 63rd birthday, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t because today, September 2, is actually the 6 month anniversary of her death. How are we doing since she died? Okay. Truly, overall, okay. Things like this never feel good, and they’re not supposed to. But we are working at piecing things […]
An Ideal Mother’s Day
There are a couple of factors combining to make this Mother’s Day Not The Most Fun. My sister and I took a vote and decided that if we could scratch one day from the calendar this year, it would be Mother’s Day. As it is the first one we are going motherless and grandmotherless, we’re […]
What the Heck Was I Thinking??
Recently I had Not My Best Day Ever. I was crabby, cranky, grouchy, irritable, (throw in your own favorite adjective in to describe Mommy At Her Worst)…the thing was, it was all my fault. WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?!? I totally set myself up for failure, brilliantly deciding it would be a good idea […]
Shopping Under the Influence
As it turns out, shopping under the influence of grief is not wise choice…Last week before my mom’s memorial service, I decided I needed to get a haircut. Since my husband was off work, I left an hour early to make “a quick trip to Target to get a few things I needed.” I have […]
The Postmortem
I looked up “postmortem” b/c I wasn’t sure what it meant exactly. Turns out we’ve got two very appropriate definitions going on here: “discussion of an event after it has occurred” and “occurring or done after death”, so this is most definitely The Postmortem Post. This past week was one of the most bizarre of my life. I can’t […]
