Okay, let’s be gentle here. You know the whole thing about how wildly exciting things don’t go down around these parts, so sometimes I have let myself roll with the fantasy? Yeah, so…just step aside and let me keep the dream alive.
When I say “Mindy Kaling is coming over!” it may be more in theory than actuality, but it is inspired by some awesome-come-true. My friend Ilana over at Mommy Shorts is bringing the real deal with this boss new online series, The Mommy Show. This girl wows me. And, true story, she wows the likes of Taye Diggs and Rachel Dratch in her very own living room. Yeah, Ilana is just that cool.
In any case, I am not that cool. But I like to pretend that I am from time to time. And when Ilana asked what celeb I’d like to rub elbows with, I knew it was time to tell you about my pending visit with Mindy Kaling. Which, obviously is 100% truly going to happen. (unlike the last time I got my hopes up)
1. Of course, Mindy and I are BFFs, so we will spend a lot of time just hugging at first and crying with giddiness over our joy at being together. She has this annoying whole hit TV show thing going on, so we get to see each other a lot less than we used to. It’s been killer for the friendship, but when you are as tight as we are, it’s all besties forever, you know?
2. After our initial reunion tears, we will spend a little more time crying over the end of The Great Kelly Kapoor. Sure Mindy Lahiri is fantabulous, but nothing can ever replace the memory of Kelly’s perfection, concluding with her exit of ditching all of her winter coats as she moved to Miami…Ohio.
3. Finally, Mindy and I will collect ourselves and talk about important things, like where in the world she got those fabulous green earrings in the photo above…and can she somehow get me a pair for free?
4. We’ll also need to hover on the topic of hottie B.J. Novak for a bit. How seriously did she date him? Is she dating him now? Will they get married? What will my bridesmaid’s dress look like? And how does she feel about Jordan almond favors, or do I need to go all out and make homemade candles or something for the bridal shower I will throw her?
5. Not to be all take, take, take, but I’m thinking in addition to those fab green earrings, I’ll need her put her well-known exquisite fashion savvy to good use and overhaul my entire wardrobe…and maybe foot the bill? Unless we think I could somehow convince my husband that this was a necessary blog expense?
7. Ice cream.
9. After a little more wine, the party will really start while I chill in my most-perfect-day-ever bliss and listen to Mindy read the funny parts of her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? outloud. Oh wait, that would mean she would have to read the ENTIRE book. Do you think her throat would get tired? Maybe I should stock up on some throat lozenges or something?
10. In conclusion, I am the most sucktastic, selfish BFF ever. I’m sorry, Mindy. Let me make it up to you by…offering you a free couple hours of hanging out with my kids? An ad spot on my blog to help boost your name recognition? A plate of fish tacos left over from dinner last night? Maybe I’d better just promise to be her #1 biggest fan forever and ever…??
While Mindy and I sort out the details of our friendship and polish off the rest of the ice cream, go check out The Mommy Show and watch someone who knows how handle her guests with a bit more class and grace. Ilana is kicking it!