Jun 062012
 
I need to not only start leashing my child,
but investing in the company who makes said leashes…

This harkens back to those blissful days of my ignorant belief that I could successfully leave the house with two children.  Last summer, I decided it would be a good idea to take my 3 week old daughter and newly 2 yr. old son to the mall. (yes, this is the first point when you should question my sanity).  So off we trekked, double stroller at the ready.  Popping into a couple of stores actually went relatively well…and then we hit the food court (this is the second point where you should be questioning my sanity).  For some reason, I expected my son to remain seated and gratefully dine on his Chick-Fil-A (third point of questioning sanity).  This was not the case.  After hollering at him and chasing him around the immediate area several times, I finally gave up and realized it was time to go.

I then lapsed back into insanity and thought I could quickly snag a refill on my Diet Coke (give it up for needing caffeine to rock out those sleepless nights of newborn-ness).  This was the first instance in my life of hating the Joovy for it’s inabilty to keep my son belted into immobility.  While waiting for my refill, he got bored, hopped off and took off running…My sweet baby girl was left stranded in front of the Chick-Fil-A stand while I hysterically chased my son across the food court, yelling at some strange man to please grab and hold my toddler for me (classic Mom of the Year award coming through here…).

After finally snagging my son and retrieving my daughter, the little angel started yelling, “Cookie!” at the top of his lungs (yes, imagine all the “friendly” stares of everyone around us).  Whaa??  To my knowledge, at this point in his life, he had no knowledge that there even were cookies available in the food court.  I definitely never introduced him to this concept, so some grandparent, husband or sitter took liberties and failed to fill me in…In any case, I obviously went with the cookie bribe at this point, desperate in my desire to somehow make our way back to the safety of the minivan.

We pulled up beside the cookie joint, selected our order and then…he was gone again!  My poor baby was abandoned again and my open wallet left lying by the register while I panicked-ly ran off in search of my son again…I’ll spare you the subsequent gory details and let’s just conclude by saying WE WILL NOT BE RETURNING TO THE MALL.  At least, of course, until I lose my memory and/or have a brain transplant and forget this whole delightful incident ever happened….

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Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, dedicatedly earning her title one epic parenting fail at a time. When her kids aren't busy pummeling each other with Legos or requiring their 16th sippy cup refill of the day, she tries to offer quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents of the world and all their empathizers. She remains entirely terrified by crafts, promises to never share any useful household tips, and is fully committed to a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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  11 Responses to “Chasing a Toddler Through the Mall”

  1.  

    We don't have many malls here in the city, but I had the brilliant idea yesterday to let my newly 2-year-old son walk 4 blocks to the drug store and not bring the stroller. Holy Mama lost her marbles, Batman!

  2.  

    Ack! Attemtping to forgo the stroller–I think it's enough to take down the strongest of Mamas!

  3.  

    This brings back so many memory's of trying to tame toddlers. Best to keep them on a leash at all times or even better leave them at home with someone else :)

  4.  

    So this is what I'm in for?? My son is 14 months old so I dont have a long way to go!!!! ;-)

  5.  

    Oh boy! I think I'll steer clear for now!

  6.  

    Now that was one eventful shopping trip! But just think of all the entertainment you provided all the other customers!

  7.  

    Lisa, I'm sure your child will be completely normal and mine is just psychotic ;) Ann-Christin, yes! Would be so much easier not to take them in the first place. Motherhood, if you do give it a go, let me know how you fare. And Megan, yes, as long someone enjoyed it, right? ;)

  8.  

    That sounds very familiar! It has been a while for me- mine are 4 and 7, but I SO KNOW the feeling!

  9.  

    Kelley, thanks for the empathy–hard to believe, at this point, that mine will ever be “that old” ;)

  10.  

    Toddler harnesses are a sanity saver! I have one installed in Mister Three's bag at all times just in case. And I hardly ever get strange looks or comments – mostly “good on you” remarks when I use it.

  11.  

    Haha! What a laugh. Sorry about that mall trip. I'm sure I'll probably be “that” mom sometime too. It's great that you can now relate the tale with a sense of humor. Thanks for visiting my blog!

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