Jun 052012
 

I have been in active pursuit of alone time every day since my son was born.  My efforts of yet have been futile.  I love my husband.  I love my kids.  Most days, I even love my dog.  But the older I get and the more little hands I have invading my non-existent personal bubble, the more I crave privacy.  One night recently I was especially cranky (shock, I know) and after a really long week, I. Just. Wanted. To. Be. Alone.  I told my husband this and he was on board (God bless him) and was all, “Yeah, sure.”  I’m like, “No, I want to be alone.”  He’s like “Yeah, I got it.”  I’m like, “No, I don’t think you do–I want to be ALONE”.  Then to be clear, I delineated the following clarification:

Current Theoretical Alone Time

Alone Time does NOT include:

Large neurotic dogs panting in my face regarding some perceived hysteria

Socializing with the sweet Genaurdi’s delivery man

Calling every establishment in town and scheduling all of our family’s appointments for the next several months

Running herd after a toddler

Hosting a playdate

Having a baby repeatedly try to pull all of my thinning hair out of my head

Rehashing our depressing financial state for the 1,000th time this week

Pooping with an audience (oh it happens, people–parents, you know exactly what I mean)

Attending a work happy hour

Going on a group walk

Escaping upstairs with a book only to have very sweet little blonde heads pop up beside my bed every 30 seconds

Talking to anyone else

Talking at all

In fact, perhaps what I am seeking is a self-induced coma??

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Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, dedicatedly earning her title one epic parenting fail at a time. When her kids aren't busy pummeling each other with Legos or requiring their 16th sippy cup refill of the day, she tries to offer quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents of the world and all their empathizers. She remains entirely terrified by crafts, promises to never share any useful household tips, and is fully committed to a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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  30 Responses to “Alone Time”

  1.  

    I hope you get your alone time soon! Usually if I'm feeling like that, even a nap or a solitary walk will work wonders with my outlook. Little things that those who are not parents of young children take for granted.

  2.  

    I think you're really lucky! One day you'll probably wish you had a house full of cute little blondies yelling your name and those loveable doggies breathing in your face. {You probably hear that a lot :) }

  3.  

    For real. We all crave it and need it on occasion. I'm not saying whole weeks but just a little time here and there would be nice. Now that school is out for the Summer, I am trying to ease my girls into a routine that includes quiet time in the morning. My four year old just announced “I taught her to blow the recorder!” as my two year old huffs and puffs a one note blast at just the right pitch to curl your toes. Excuse me while I break that thing over my knee…it's going to be a long summer. –Christine

  4.  

    Yep,yep…coma sounds good. I'm in the same boat. I feel like I'm never by myself, least of all when I'm in the bathroom..sigh. I just want to lay on the couch for a day without someone jumping on my head and having a fist fight on top of me.

  5.  

    Oh I totally get where you are coming from with alone time.
    sometimes I go in my bathroom and lock the door and just sit there.
    And yes they still knock but there is no way I'm opening that door until I'm ready.

  6.  

    Patricia–yes, great call! I'm a huge fan of a good nap to refresh! Sabrina, I AM lucky and you are right–thanks for the perspective :) Christine, my toes are curling right along with you! Paige–whaa?? There is such a thing as having a day without someone jumping on your head? This is very interesting and I must look into this…Debbie, go you for keeping that door locked and standing your ground!

  7.  

    Amen! I hear it gets easier to find as they get older…but I'm going crazy thinking that I have to wait years to finally get that coveted solitude.

  8.  

    Where once the bathroom was such a sanctuary of solitude for those who need a moment of peace, it is now ground zero for all things “MAMA, MAMA, MAMA”. It never fails that all hell will break loose when I put the first toe into a hot bath or just sit down on the toilet! The cat has even started to stick her paws under the locked door when I'm in there. I swear, she and the kid are working together now….

  9.  

    As a full-time father, being able to hand over childcare responsibilities to my wife, even for just a few hours helps tremendously. I do feel your pain, being pulled in several different directions all at once.

    Leave the kids with your husband for a few hours, and treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure. I’m certain that’ll make you feel better!

  10.  

    Yep, totally agree. If I don't get any alone time, I am one cranky mama.

  11.  

    Brynne, I know! Hard to swallow that it will be years before we score our precious alone time. LSM–snorted thinking about your cat and kids in cahoots! ;) DD–LOVE that your recommendation is a mani/pedi–sounds perfect! And Mamarific, always, always glad to know I'm not alone :)

  12.  

    Pooping with an audience? Oh yeah, I've been there. I'm so desensitized, it's pathetic, really! At least we all know how you feel :)

  13.  

    Oh wow- I may have written this post myself. That is so me – I crave alone time after being surrounded by 3 kids and a husband! I love my fam, but I'm a true introvert!

  14.  

    All for public pooping, merelymothers ;) and yes, Meredith, give it up for us introverts!

  15.  

    You shouldn't have to leave your house for “alone “time because then you are not really alone and I love my alone time in my home best! Have your wonderful husband pre-arrange a visit to either Dad and or Adrienne (Adrienne….remember you said that was good birth control!!) and take the dog and the kids with him for a day or weekend……gotta do it!

  16.  

    This is funny! I scheduled a post this weekend to go up tomorrow similar to yours. I think that's all moms want – some peace and quiet without anyone touching her!

  17.  

    May I suggest a surgery in the hospital? Mere–must say getting the gall bladder out was a pain, but for 24 straight hours after Chris left, I was alone. I read 800 pages of books…I had both a dinner and breakfast alone and people made the food for me. People will think I am crazy, but it was a bit of a breather from real life and ut's demands.

  18.  

    I missed feeding my family five full meals! I never realized how much I resent making breakfast, lunch, and dinner each day…and the craziest thing of all, is that they figured it out without me!!!

  19.  

    AND even if you are alone, you are probably doing work or getting chores done right? “Alone” is an illusion…

  20.  

    I know I know I know.

    I remember one day my husband asked me why I was so crabby. He said, “you got out today — you went grocery shopping.”

    Yeah. Grocery shopping.

  21.  

    I hope you get some alone time soon. What you're describing sounds like bliss!

  22.  

    I suggest a night at a hotel. Seriously alone. you deserve it!

  23.  

    Haha! I used to have to explain that running to the grocery store did not count as a girls night out or did it count as alone time. Hope you find a sliver soon. : )

  24.  

    Oh girl. Your posts always make me laugh. Mainly because they are SO TRUE! And alone time is few and far between for me. Sometimes riding in the car ALONE and able to listen to WHAT I WANT TO ON THE RADIO suffices. :)

  25.  

    Will check it out, Motherhood! Erika, this gall bladder stone thing is sounding better and better…Sarah, Empress and Jen–no, chores and/or grocery shopping does NOT count as fun “me” time, unless I get to take a out a few obnoxious people with my shopping cart or something?? Thanks, Bridget and Emily! Steph–cranking up some serious tunes for you the next time I score a child-free drive! A trip to the gyno never looked so good ;)

  26.  

    Oh my God, you're me! I cannot tell you how much I need a like button for this post. I have four kids and I sympathize with just about each and every thing you listed in your list of things that alone time does not include.

    I work part-time, so my husband thinks I can have some alone time while two of the kids are napping and the other two are in school. Okay, except that then you're on the alert for the sounds of waking kids. Oh, and then there's all those things that need doing that don't get done while the little ones are awake because eventually, you have to stop what you're doing and go into the living room to see what all the screaming is about and once you've done that, there's no escaping. Naptime is Mommy's recovery time. Bedtime is Mommy's adult beverage time. Sometimes, Mommy just needs some alone time before she goes stark raving mad.

    Wait a second, I've just started referring to myself in the third person…Maybe I've already gone stark raving mad. Uh-oh. :p

  27.  

    LOVE your definitions of Naptime and Bedtime–sound perfectly accurate ;) I just actually looked up whether there was a National Screaming Day b/c I figured it had to be today–since everyone here is!

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